When you are a mother, people like to ‘tell’ you things, like do this, do that, why this, why that. It is like you are wearing a board on your face “Your opinion please”. Being a mother, you learn it anyway that it is finally YOUR guts that works for your child. They act like they are ‘concerned’ ranging from whether the baby ‘looks’ well fed, enough layered, to whether you want to stay at home or get back to career. It would be the same neighbor who never showed up at your door that day when you baby wouldn’t stop crying for some reason. The same friend who never offered bit of her time the other day when you were down and depressed.
You know that they only ‘talk’ concerned, they are not going to be there when you need them. But, they do not seem to stop until you start to feel, “May be, I’m wrong”. Really. Of all these, ‘getting back to career’ being one of the most important decisions you make in your and your child’s life, it really attracts people. Take it from me, they are not going to say, “You go for it gal, I know, you’ll rock it”. NO. They like to tell you things that could collapse your spirit. I would like to share some of them that I heard personally in my life, when I got back to work after 4 years of maternity break. And of course, “put them into Trash!”.
“Oh no, what will happen to your baby!”:
“She will live” I said. As a mother, you would not have concluded to get away for 8 hours unless you definitely knew that you and your baby are fit enough to be separated for those 8 hours. You put the plans in place, from what she eats to what technology to monitor her while you are away. You are going to have to spend extra hours for the day to day planning of this, and you are ready for this. So, when you hear this ‘concerned’ comment, “Put it into Trash!”.
“This is not going to be easy for an otherwise Stay at home Mom!”
“I’ll be fine as long as a machine makes my Coffee there”, I said. (Seriously, no one makes my coffee at home even at times I feel like dying for one after a long night with my baby). Trust me ladies, as I have been there at both the sides, the ‘Working Mom’ side obviously takes extra effort, yet it does offer some good things. For instance, you get to meet people of your interest and share things which can truly be a Stress buster. The monotony of your life breaks and you get to do diverse stuffs that can make your days interesting. And the Coffee, of course! Many other things like this, will keep you going , so when you hear the above ‘caring’ comment, “Put it in into Trash!”.
“I understand this is for your family’s financial needs, not everyone gets the luxury of being at home!”:
“No, trust me, we all ate this morning!” I said. Money can buy you many things, happiness is not one of them. The soul keeps searching for its purpose all through its journey in this world, that money cannot find for it. You see where this topic is taking us to, I won’t spare this speech for a person who talks in terms of money, because she won’t understand a word of it. So, when you hear such ‘valuable’ comment, “Put it into Trash!”.
“If you are bored at home, why don’t you get a teaching job at the school where your child goes!”
“Saving some poor Children the trouble!” I said. Not everyone is a Teacher material. All have different skills, thus different dreams and ambitions. If every mother has to end up a Teacher, just for time pass, it’s an injustice to teaching profession, a Holy one, this teaching thing I feel. You can’t just ‘go be a teacher!’. So unless you are qualified for teaching profession, “Put it into Trash!”
“See, this is the problem of today’s women given higher qualifications!”
“Problem? What problem?” I said. I see a share being done for the Economy of the country. I see couple of other people being benefited, like a maid or a babysitter, a driver or an ironing man (etc). I see a child getting to learn social skills and being independent and get to see her role model in her own Mom. All they see are Problems, so “Put it into Trash!”
And, What I would say to you is, “You go for it Gal! I know you’ll rock it! 👍🏽”
Take care! Happy Mothering!