5 Reasons why I chose to take a break in my career and be a ‘Full time Mom’

Yes, that was a big decision. That too for a girl who used to be a top ranking student, have worked with 2 software giants, has a lot of dreams and aspirations, it was really a big thing to leave all that behind and be a housewife, though it is for a while. But what made me take that decision? Do I still feel fine about that? I tell you here. It may help a new Mom who is struggling to decide, just like I was then.

1. The bond, it’s now or never:

Money can be made anytime. But the bond, its now or never. Experts say that the right time to build the bond between you and your child is the first few years. If I miss to build the bond now, I can not expect my child to listen to me or to share things with me as a friend any time in her life. If I leave behind everything else and pamper her with all my effort now, I build a trust that, ‘Mama will always be there when I need her’. That way, I can always expect my child to come to me to share that little secret. Some of my Mom friends worry about their children getting too attached to the caretaker. The solution they go for is, changing the caretaker once in a while so that she doesn’t get attached to anyone that much. Good that, I never had to have such worries. It’s always me and my child.

2. To lay a better foundation for my child’s physical and mental development:

whysahm2

You may know that 80% of a child’s brain development happens in the first 3 years. It’s also proven that the mother’s warmth and care in essential for a child’s development to be on track. Studies show that the babies who get the warmth of their mother round the clock have a positive effect in the production of brain cells. Studies apart, I personally wanted to play an active part in their development. If it’s not my responsibility, no one else’s. I don’t need a study result to tell me that. Besides, raising a happy and content child is important for a better future. Spending money alone can’t do that. Spending time with them definitely does.

3.I just wanted to enjoy motherhood to the fullest, not confusing things and finally ending up not doing justice to either sides:

Your baby, when she arrives at your hand, has the magical power of putting your world up side down. Your world starts to revolve around her. She occupies your mind so fully that leaving her at home and being at office means you are only physically present there. While she can’t communicate yet, she can’t even convey her needs, I can’t sit peacefully and say, “It’s okay, she’s gonna be fine. I can work now”. This would certainly affect the pace, quantity and quality of my work. Missing deadlines, crashed appraisals.. I may finally end up taking my office laptop at home, which in turn, eats up all the quality time with my baby. Finally, I’m not doing justice to both my roles. Obviously, I don’t want that. Also that, in my opinion, the job of ‘being a mother’ can’t be done as a part time job. So, ‘I am a full time mother’ makes sense to me.

4. I don’t really care about those “So, you don’t work?”s:

whysahm3

We can’t deny that some of us do not want to leave the job, just because they don’t want to be a SAHM. It’s not that you feel inferior. People make you feel inferior. Wherever you go, there will be that one person to ask you, “So, you don’t work?”. (“What the hell!! What else do you think I’m doing at home?”. Okay, I know. it’s an entirely different story which calls for an exclusive post) We live in a poor society which thinks, if you are an SAHM, you know nothing but cooking. But why should I care about them anyhow. They are not going to babysit tonight. “Yes, I am a full time mother. But, why am I supposed to feel so inferior about that. I may not  be wearing a tag and a card. What I am wearing is a crown. Yes, that’s how my child looks at me. I’m a queen in her world. No one has ever given me such a honor.  And It’s not fair if I do not give her back what she deserves, an undivided attention.”

5. Above all, I had enough confidence on me and my skills:

whysahm4

Yes, you are right. In my industry, a ‘gap’ matters. With a 3 year old son and a 5 month old daughter, I already got a gap of 3+ years and still counting. I can still confidently say, “No, I’m not going to be a doormat wife forever.” Even if I’m not so preferred in my industry, I would just say, “Ok guys, the loss is yours” and walk on. This is a world of opportunities. Based on your skills, you can always assume a new career and be successful in that. Life starts at 30 you know.

All these being the reasons why I chose to be a ‘Full time mother’ for a while, Do I still feel fine about that?

Yes I do:

Oh yeah! I heard you right, being a SAHM does have its own downside. You lose your financial independence. You can’t help feeling like a household machine at times. You get little or no time for yourself. Often, I tend to ask myself, ‘Does it really worth it?”. But at the end of the day, things always make me realize ‘Yes.It does’. Coming to the stress part, there are more than a dozen ways you can get rid of it.. I’m soon writing on that.

So mommies, I just shared my thoughts on this. Share your thoughts too. Also, just like I had reasons to be a full time mom, a working mom would have her own reasons why she chose to be one. We would love to hear them as well.

Finally,

When a baby is born, all that she knows is her mom. She still thinks herself as a part of her mom. It takes a while for a baby to realize that she is an individual being. She gets to know her father, her siblings, her first toy.. her world grows very slow. It’s important for me to hold her hands at least till she thinks, ‘Hey, It’s okay. These people are not aliens anymore’.

Happy mommying!!! Take care!!!

References:

http://www.savethechildren.org/site/c.8rKLIXMGIpI4E/b.8193011/k.4505/Early_Steps_to_School_Success.htm

http://www.livescience.com/18196-maternal-support-child-brain.html

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149 thoughts on “5 Reasons why I chose to take a break in my career and be a ‘Full time Mom’

  1. Ur reasons r highly informative and guiding. Mothers who r unable to come to decisions will learn much from ur article. Ur commitment to motherhood nd love of ur children is understandable. People should come out of their excessive love of money. Ur statement that money can b earned at any time sounds like a prophesy. God bless u.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The article was nice, but in a way u r making those mothers guilty who hv no choice but to work due to financial constraints or any other reason. I am one of them but ur article made me more guilty n sad instead of encouraging.

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    1. I have huge pressure from my parents and inlaws. But being a mom at 24yrs made everything easy in my life. I really thanks my baby and god for coming into my life. He plays a vital role in teaching me having patience in my life. Now I am a full time mother for my 7mnths baby… And really happy to be with him.

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    1. Thank you for your thought Aruna. As there is an exception in everything, may be as you said, there would be exceptions here too. The very word ‘Not all’ conveys it clearly. This blog is to tell people that, ‘not all’ full time moms are sitting idle and watching serials as people think generally.

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      1. This is so true. There’s more stress being a stay home Mom, however the rewards are far greater than the recognition I was getting being a banker. Cheers to you. 👪

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  2. Yes well said … the same I did few months ago… Now I feel proud and happy to be called as full time housewife rather being so called with my designation at so called company…
    🙂 cheers!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A switch-off from her career,for a mother (of two little kids) to be in particular is always worth a lot of untold joy,love,care…
    Article on uncompromised mother for the love of her children is well said.

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  4. Loved your article..I left the job with a software giant for my daughter and now she is two. There are times when I feel depressed and think if I made a right decision.But seeing my daughter excel in her intellectual, mental and emotional state i feel that I am right..As you said no matter if I have an id card or financial independence I’m her queen and she believes in my strength 🙂 That is what matters at the end!!

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    1. Well said Akhila. Yes, we lose certain things, but it’s all worth it. I see it more like giving back than a sacrifice. Being a mother is a great honor which my child gave me and she deserves certainly more attention than those giants.

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  5. if money is needed then what could be the answer. Not speaking about excess money or saving for flat. But for caring dependent parent ,less salary gaining husband. The women are going for job in this situation with very hard heart.

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    1. We can totally understand your situation. Even I personally know some mothers who really want to be with their kids but couldn’t. But, atleast an year should be affordable. I personally feel that leaving a 3 month old baby at someone else’s care is unfair. If you cant even afford that gap, then get enough help from your parents on caring your child. As you said they are dependant on you, I assume that they live with you.

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    1. Thank you Umaa. That attitude, yeah.. I think I wear that ‘Who cares’ attitude a lot after becoming a mother. Because, when you are a mother there will be hundreds around you to talk about your decisions and advising you what to do and what not to. But when you really need a help, there will be no one. So, I stopped caring about what others may think, what matters more to me is the welfare of my kids.

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  6. I am a working mom, and my amma was also working. She instilled this deep sense of independence in me. My job was very much important to me, so i didnt opt for a break after my daughter was born. True, I too had this emotional tug of war at times..but I had to think practically.

    Hats off to your courage of taking this decision, coz its something that I can never do.Again it depends on the individual’s circumstances, financial situation, state of mind etc…

    I enjoyed going through your blog, if you get spare time do take a look at my blog as well.

    http://thoughtszzforward.blogspot.in/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your thought. My mom was a working woman too and I find it the very reason why I grew up with a sense of independence in me. I want my kids to be the same, there is no second thought on it.

      Sure will go thru your blog.

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  7. Good thoughts…..All those facts you explained in your article ,always disturbed my mind wen my baby was born.. As you said , I always felt I need to take care of my baby, need to give her my attention and need to build up a strong bond with her. But when people say that “you will loose your career if you take a break”, I will get perplexed to take a decision. The moments ,we miss in our life will never come back and motherhood is such a wonderful time.

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    1. Yes you are right. The fear about the career is one major reason, why most of us do not want to take a break. I felt, there is always be enough time for career but this time of motherhood would never come back.

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  8. Totally agree with you. My mom was a working mother who didnt have a choice. She had to work for the house to run smoothly. But she raised me all the well. So I know what a heart tearing life it can be for working mothers.

    When I had a son it was the toughest decision of my life but then I “chose the lesser guilt”. I would feel much less guilty compromising my career than compromising seeing my child grow up every minute. Thankfully my financial situation allowed that choice.

    I would just request everyone not to be judgemental about either of the choices. Both are individual choices and both set of children can grow up to be good human beings.

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  9. Thank you for the thoughtful post!! I went by the same decision as yours to quit my well paid job and be a full time mom. I graduated and worked in the UK, returned home to get married and start my family. It was too much for me take at once, unlike you I have always regretted my decision of giving up my career to nurture my baby girl. Like you have mentioned when friends and relatives pose the question “so u are not working?? After all the Master degrees u have obtained!!”. That’s the most difficult situation for me. My parents do make feel low for being unable to juggle both work and family like most of the Chennai women do, let alone friends and relatives. Due to the mentioned reasons I sometimes get very stressed and throw tantrums. Till this morning I regretted my decision and went to the very extreme of cursing my beautiful daughter, after which I cried my heart out. I wanted to enjoy her childhood, milestones, feed her, take her shopping, do homework, colouring singing along, playing with talking to tom and many more bliss moments. As I know time and age can never return and we live in a world of uncertainty and live the moment to the fullest. But like I said I was never enjoying it to the fullest, always worrying about friends’ career and financial growth. But tell you what, God made me read your post just now after feeling guilty for cursing my daughter and now I am happy and satisfied with my decision and will enjoy motherhood whole heartedly. Big hugs to you lovely, thank you for saving the mother in me. Sorry about the too lengthy post, sometimes it’s needed. U are myGenie!!!!
    Tc
    Pavi

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    1. Thank you Pavi. I can totally understand what you are going thru. Even I have that ‘lost everything’ kind of feeling and why not every mother has. But, you never have to regret your decision. It takes a lot of guts to put back the career and keep your baby on top. It’s not that we couldn’t manage both, as others think. We very well can. We are just clear enough to decide what matters more to us. Your masters will never go in vain. You, me and all mothers who took a break will definitely make a come back with a bang, only that our kids would also be ahead of others of their age.

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  10. absolutely made my day:) thanks for writing this up:) M in a stage of choosing my career and my baby. u really did influence me. now i know what should i do:) a tonn thanks again:) bows to you:)

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  11. Why I never Quit my job:

    Your kid will love you : My dad is a businessman working fulltime, he spent a few hours with me everyday, whereas My mom spent every minute with me, But i love my dad and mom equally. I know many girls who love their dad much more…why?
    Its not about the quantity of time.. but the quality of time!
    Even i was a SAHM who spent all hours in household chores too tired to attend kid or herself, I would connect very less with the kid. I am not talking about women who have no support to raise kid, like no grandparents or a v.good nanny to take care of the kid. But who have support, need not worry that the child will not be so attached..Its so true..
    One thing you need is sacrifice sleep a bit! Get up at 5, cook, play with kid, give him his breakfast, leave for office..return at 7pm – play with kid for 1-2 hours (alone!!!), prepare dinner, take time for yourself! I do have time for me – inspite of driving 4 hours a day, cooking lunch along with MIL for 7 persons, working fulltime in a very good position…My calendar is fully packed and I love it.. My idle mind always is a devil’s workshop.. keeping me busy keeps me active!! Again, its everyone’s personal choice , and I have chosen mine!!

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    1. Totally agree with you, except for the sacrificing sleep bit!

      Children will form bonds when they realize they are loved, if the mother is tired, bitter & angry its not going to help!

      If you have support of the father, extended family and organize your self you can make it work!

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  12. You spoke every word in my mind….truely inspiring n hope every SAHM takes it positively as I have mentioned 🙂 m a mom of 2, I was wrking wen my first daughter was born n now took a brk for my second daughter. ..to tell d difference r already seen in my 8 month old baby …it makes a difference wen mom is around n it really makes!

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  13. It’s good to read same thought as mine. I work as a Manager and keep telling my female team members the exact things as to why they should consider a break. For a new mother, it is always going to be a huge stretch to keep the balance between work and new born as both require tremendous amount of focus, energy and importantly enthusiasm. Many a times, women who get caught up in these situation end up compromising on either sides and leave a bruised reputation. In a lot of situations, financial commitments (mostly unplanned) becomes a forcing factor to continue working, which is something couples need to plan better. I would also like to point here that, a lot of industries have grown to understand this important need for women and have accepted it as an important part of employment aspect. I myself hired someone who took a 2 year break as the most important factor was quite in tact, even in the break and that is, the skill set. Now, this is a key aspect that women taking break need to understand. In the period that you take break, the world would be moving fast in the field of your expertise. Unless you keep a tab on the changes and have some time to keep your skill sets updated, it is not going to be easy to get back to career track. In an age of technology, it is actually a simple thing to do, provided you plan things properly.

    Cheers. 🙂

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    1. Thank you for your valuable thought Prince. Actually, one major reason why i wrote down this blog is to spread awareness among women that a break is not going to be the end of your career, as long as you are confident and stay fresh on your skillset you can take a 2 or at least 1 yr gap which your baby definitely deserves. Your comment added lot of meaning to my blog. As you said, compromising either of the sides is not fair. Thank you.

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  14. Why we are leaving out an important contribution from our partners in brining up kids. Bringing up a child should be responsibility of both parents. Why make only mother feel guilty on choosing career or raising a kid. I was raised by a working mother, I turned out to be pretty decent on all aspects of life.

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    1. Bringing up is both the parent’s responsibility and both has equal rights on choosing the career. But for a new born baby, as i said in the blog, her mother is the world. To be practical, while she is still months old, only her mother can comfort her . That’s y I chose to take a break. I have my own aspirations and I’m not going to leave them forever just because I’m a woman. I jus took a little break since my child needs me more than anyone else. I see it as my first and foremost responsibility. Y me, y not he..? kind of arguments may sound modern but they are not practical in my point of view. He still does his part, taking care of finance, allowing you to nuture your baby without any other worries.

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  15. Even I left my job for raising my daughter and found many friends and relatives telling me to join back as I was always working post my education. However I and my spouse had already decided and were firm on our decision that I will be SAHM after having a baby. After reading your blog I could relate to all your points. I do understand, for many mom’s it’s not possible to leave their job if they have financial commitments, however fail to understand such mom’s who don’t want to leave their jobs as they find motherhood very exhausting and monotonous so a job is an easy fix for them to escape. Besides that I have encountered many people who don’t value motherhood at all nowadays.

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  16. Nice one. It give more courage to think wholely about ourself and our immediate responsibility. But to take that decision, you need your family support, like husband, in-laws and your environment. Though all of us want this, not many can take it and do justice.

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  17. Nice write up. Yes you are not alone. I was a working mother with lot of guilt to get back to work too.
    How many men think this way? Are they all willing to live otherwise?
    Men can share motherhood 99% except giving birth and feeding. This fact is unacceptable for many including me.Please read Sheryl sandbergs book. Let’s lean in.

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  18. I feel you. even me myself struggling with the negativeness especially from my own family. As one of top students during primary & high school in small town where everybody know each other, it does hurt when they criticise that I’m only wasting my parents’ money when they know I’m just a housewife with a degree. It has been 3 years since I resigned while I’m on top of my career,but I never regret it.I know it was the best decision ever for my 9months & 6years daughters.
    I believe every mom; whether they housewife or career woman has their role and position in big community.
    love to know that I’m not alone after reading your blogpost. hahaha

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  19. After seeing so much of blogs I am not sure what to do. I was very much career oriented and had a lot of aspirations about by professional . But from past 3 years I am at hone for my 2 little kids. Now I am not sure whether I can go back to IT Industry back for my career after such a long gap.

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  20. Yes I agree with all the 5 reasons. Even I m going through the same situation. Mom’s position can never be replaced. I have taken brake from professional career to listen my baby needs. Sitting at office we cannot be complete mom’s. We can make money at any time

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  21. Snowyspace: You are being very unfair to other mom’s who choose to balance work and home. Everyone does not have the luxury of deciding to give up work and stay at home, however much they may want to.

    There are many women who balance work life and still have a great bond with their children and there are other mom’s who may stay home but have a zero relationship with their kids.

    A child needs a caring and loving environment and a confident happy and inspiring parent. How you choose to provide that is up to each one of us.

    And let us not forget the father, he has an equal role in making sure a child has a loving and caring environment at home. Us women should not put ourselves on a pedestal and assume we are everything to our children and no one else can have a deep bond with our children.

    For other women struggling with these choices, please make sure whatever you choose, staying home or working…the time you spend with your child is quality time, give them love and affection, but do not make them dependent and clingy. They need to grow up and be confident and successful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kalyani, I’m not here to lead or mislead anyone. I would like to suggest you to read the title again. Its not ‘why you should take a break,. Its ‘why I took a break’. Anyway, if my blog made you feel it may make women think again, I take it as a credit. Thank you.
      I have a correction with your first statement, its not a luxury to be a full time mom, again you need to experience it to know it.
      And, I agree with you, kids need to grow independant. But only after they could be. If I leave my 3month old baby with someone else and say, ‘I go back to work now bcoz I want my baby to be independant’, its nothing less than a joke to me. Again I say, its my opinion, which made me make that decision. A gap is not going to be the end of my life as long as I’m confident. It depends on individual’s thoughts and my blog talks mine.

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      1. Snowyspace: The luxury is being able to forgo an income, taking care of a baby is more than a full time job.
        I have experienced both, staying home with a child and being a working mom.
        I have 2 children, grown up now about 20 & 16. After my older one, I quit my job, stayed home with her for 15 months, my husband worked full time and it was fine. After she was a bit older I was back at work. But just before my son was born, the MNC my husband worked for shut up their operations in India, my husband’s parents are old, he did not want to take up the opportunity to move to the US. It took him almost 10 months to find a similar role. With 2 kids, EMI and older parents living with us, I had to continue working.

        But I do not feel guilt though, I look at my children now and I know that I have been a good parent, they are confident, independent, very tuned into how others feel and have a wonderful relationship with their grandparents.

        I am now a senior executive at a largish MNC, I see young women regularly who struggle to make this decision and no matter what they do, someone will tell them the exact opposite, I would not want them to feel guilt for making the best decision for them.

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      2. I do understand that there are some women who really want to take a break but couldn’t (like your case). And, whatever we do there will always be people who make us feel guilt. If you choose X, ppl will say why X, choose Y. If you choose Y, again they say why Y, go for X. It is upto us not to feel guilt and be confident on our decisions.
        I also would like to add, this blog is not to feel working women guilty, this is to give confidence to those who took a break for their babies that it is not going to be the end of the career. Because I know that this kind of fear about future make them depressed and regret their decision. I just wanted to help them. Thanks for your thoughts on this Kalyani.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. Wow! It was great to read your post. I completely agree with all 5 reasons. I have enjoyed my motherhood to the fullest while raising both my children. I am an IT professional. Yes, I have lost lakhs of rupees but what I have gained is priceless!!! Though working Moms are capable of raising good children, the special bond that is shared will strengthen if you raised your own child as you are always there to see and discuss the smallest of the things. Based on my experience, I would like to think it is helpful to have a lady to assist with either cooking or caring for the baby for 2-3 hrs. If you are busy managing home, how can you give sufficient time to your baby? On the other hand, you may become irritable if you are the only one caring for the baby. Also, you can expect your husband to give you the much needed break once in a while to enjoy yourself. You will also have to read up to have the professional in you alive, to pick up new skills. However, the childhood is not the only time moms have to be with the child. I also took breaks when my daughter was in 10th and 12th. I had to support my hyperactive son in the studies. In the end, the hard work pays off. Now I have totally 13 years experience with 8 career breaks in-between(also to take care of ailing in-laws)ranging from 3 months to 3.5 years long. Thankfully, my second employer (software giant) had mom friendly policies. I recently completed a year long course at ISB Hyderabad after my daughter finished her engineering! My son is now in 11th(scored 89% in 10th)!! Hope my experiences will help a few new moms!!!

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  23. That’s such a lovely post and I’m happy to read the thoughts of moms who echo a sentiment I felt for years. I have been a stay at home mom for the last 6 years and despite the ups and downs, it really has been a rewarding journey so far. Although I just started working 6 months back, I have a child who is loving, affectionate and most of all a very secure individual. I’m so glad that I had taken that step, because ultimately it’s not my career but my baby’s future and growth that would truly define how successful I have been in life.
    Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I loved this Agnibanya. Especially the last statement. My baby’s growth and future tells how successful I’m in life. What a thought.. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

      Like

  24. Hi,
    I decided to take a career break for reasons you so beautifully articulated above. I’ve been at home with my little one (soon a yr old) for 2 mos.now and I am enjoying every bit of it. It was a heavy decision but I have not regretted it. She does drive me crazy, leaving me 2 hrs everyday ( no exaggeration) to do what I would want to do. My husband worries all the time how this break would affect my career.. But little does he know what he is missing out on!! For fear of those ridiculing looks I haven’t been talking to people bat my bold step. It was dry refreshing to come across your post. Thanks!

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  25. I work in IT too and been struggling;finally took a decision especially right after achieving what I wanted to do in my career.
    I loved your phrase ‘Full time Mom’;keeps lingering..am on a transition now managing work partially from home and catching up being a full time Mom.
    Its too difficult to be a full time mom;busier than ever.Hats off to all SAHM who opted out of careers and been a FT mom from the beginning.

    Thank you for the beautiful,blog.I got lot of clarity and inspiration reading your blog

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  26. Nice thoughts dear.
    I am a mother if a 7month old girl. I was not working ful time even before she was born, but now I don’t work even that… I live in a family of 4 MIL, FIL,m husband and myself. Everyone in the family works and insist on me to join some work somewhere., but I gladly chose to be a SAHM. The major reason I find is I can’t leave my jewel at home with a nanny. It’s too difficult for me to do that. And secondly I don’t think my family needs any financial support from me at this moment. So I decided to keep home and be a full time super dedicated mother. As u have said ‘its now or never’ I so agree if I don’t give her time and build trust today I can’t build that ever. I am so so so close to my mom because she gave me all the time she had, I can trust her the most and she trust my decisions. And I think all thus is possible because she had spent so much of time in me that she knows me inside out.

    And I also told my mother in law that I will work somewhere only after she retires and assures me that she will take all the good care of my daughter just like or better thn me.
    I wanna tell every mother thus that don’t keep a low feeling about not working. We are doing the world a better job, by helping carve the future humans.
    I am proud to be a stay at home mom. And I am sure my daughter will also be proud of me tomorrow and the world will be proud of her someday for the individual i carved outta her.

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  27. nice article thank u dear I m feeling proud that I m a full time mother of my son I m feeling happy on my dicision of leaving the job. thank u very much for the motivation.

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  28. There has been lots of post regarding full time mom and working mom but never i felt as good reading it as i felt during this read. Thank you for sharing. I am a mom of 16 months and i am a working mom, by choice. I don;t think either is bad thing, like you mentioned, its the poor society we live in who “Voluntarily” becomes the judge on any matter. It all comes downs to individual’s inspiration, agenda and finance to make a decision of whether they want to be working mom or full time mom. My main thing is if you have made a decision, be confident about it and not complain. Enjoy it. You are one very confident mom and i admire that.

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  29. A well written article, and every working mommy must read this. The major problem in India, unfortunately, is that getting job after break is highly difficult. Companies are not ready to employ moms who have a break in their career. I hope the company’s mgmt change their mind and offer us based on our experience and capabilities.

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  30. From a working mom who likes to integrate work, family among other things in life.

    Very thoughtfully written post! And I appreciate that you were sensitive to women who made other choices.

    Disclaimer:
    Following views are purely mine and think women should have the right to make their own decisions which suite their personalities/ views and work in their circumstances. So my choices might not just work for many women. I am glad I have some one taking really good care of my baby while I am away.

    1. Quality of time versus Quantity of time
    I have been 24×7 with my baby for 4 months. And I can tell the time I spend with him when I am away for a few hours is of much higher quality than staying with him 24×7. Getting other work done: be it my professional work, other charity work, passions etc at least a few hours in a day helps my brain and body be active and I do have a sense of personal growth. Which really helps me to spend quality time with my baby. For example: I take him out for a walk, play with him, feed him, go on hikes with him after I come back from work and during weekends. I tend to plan my time well with him. If I am at home all day, I tend to not plan our time well, I would just spend most of the day finishing up house hold chores. Also earning gives me flexibility to hire some house help = more time for me to spend with my baby.

    2. I am more efficient at work now
    I do not work over hours and do not want to. I really am focused while I am working as I know I have very little time at work, and there is a cute munchkin waiting to play with me when I get home.

    3. Get more creative with personal growth and value.
    As I know the time I spend with my baby is very valuable. I started questioning the work, is it really worth my precious time. So I started pushing back on work which is not very valuable. Being a mom helped me prioritize work items.

    Having said that, for me I think the ideal situation would be a part time job 4-5 hours. So that I do get my personal growth and mind and body fitness quota. At the same time I get more time to spend with my baby. But in software engineering, part time job really does not work well. So right now hanging around with full time job. But the day I feel my time is not being well spent at work, I would not hesitate to take a break or switch jobs/hours.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Being a full time mother is the best thing dat can happen.. Our babies are the only ones who give us their 100% attention.. Yes it has its downside of financial independence, tons of household work but when those li’l hands come n cuddle u n say I luv u Mumma, we forget everything.. Its the best feeling ever.. Its like reliving ur childhood n being ur self without thinking abt ppl around u.. SAHM of 6yr old n still continuing..

    Liked by 1 person

  32. A full time mom and a part time yoga teacher and homebase copywriter. It’s really hard juggling my tasks everyday, its really draining but I have my happy pill, my son and my restart button, yoga. You have good points about the topic and you have inspired a lot of mothers

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  33. Make a choice and accept it regardless of anything. Most of the time we get into defensive mode and start giving reasons why we choose to put kids in daycare or why we choose to stay home. People will give opinions but they will not fulfil your kids emotional needs or financial needs.

    When my daughter was going to daycare people made me felt bad about my choice yet I continue with my career. After 5years I had boy and of course he was suppose to go to daycare (as planned). But he could not bond with anyone so I decided to stay home. And now I am being told ” What a shame!” which I just ignore.

    Do I want get full time job after staying home for 8 years? Maybe not. Maybe part time when they are at school. Haven’t thought of it.
    Do they still need me? Yes, they do. They need me to be their friend and mentor.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. So lovely thoughts…… Being a full time job is highly paid job. Still one question comes into my mind…. what we will teach my daughter ?….. “Girl… study hard , work hard and try to become successful lady in your field….but remember whenever you will become a mom , you should quit everything for your kid. No its not 100% correct. If someone able to manage work and motherhood in balance way then she should continue her work. Its not matter of money…its matter of interest. It doesn’t mean that working women aren’t taking care of their children…..but again I am saying being a mom 24 hrs is best thing in the world. I so confused because of these two thoughts.

    Like

    1. Exactly my thoughts. I care a lot about gender equality and women in tech and stuff. So it contradicts me when this decision of staying home versus pursuing aggressive career options always lingers in my head but never in my husbands :-P. Although I must admit he is equally a strong advocate of gender equality.

      Like

  35. Very well written blog, encouraging for all work at home moms.

    As a working mom of two, I feel that after certain years kids grow out to be independent. What happens to us at that time? Do we chose to work or stay at home. What happens when they get to have a own life for themselves, may be new job. Do we still would like to think about the sacrifice that we made or will the kids think about it? People come from different financial background but as kids grow and go to college any money on the table would add value to them. At that time working for them will be sacrifice.

    Kids are just part of life, they come in and go. (Hard reality, but we will realise it soon!!) What do we need to do about our jobs it is up to us, may be you and your spouse. We decide if we can manage home and work. If we feel that we cant do it, well we could stay at home.

    I personally feel we can bond with kids even after work, we are not voiding them of any love. Kids now a days are sharp and they tend to understand the changing society which was not the case earlier. My mom was a working mom and I feel that kids who go to daycare tend to grow independent, who can take care of themselves where ever they are and would be able to adjust to any new environment easily.

    We complain the work at home is an ungrateful job, then why do we still do it? Then why don’t we go to work, instead of giving reasons. My thought is if YOU want to work, you WORK. If you want to stay at home, you stay at home. But I feel factoring in kids as a reason, would lead us into disappointment at a later stage. That is your choice, every one respects it.

    This is just a thought and my personal opinion, not for any one to get offended.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. I totally agree with all the reasons which u have mentioned… I was also in great dilemma whether I was doing the right thing by leaving my career which pays me good amount and being full time mother. It would be very difficult to face a situation when ur friends and relatives ask d question again and again “why did u quit ur Job”. Even my parents make me feel low by saying that this is the life u wanted to continue by having a degree and good fame. I really thank my husband for supporting me in my decision and motivated me now and then. After reading this post now I feel very happy that there are many mother’s with the same thought and raising kids by inculcating love and affection from there tender age…

    Liked by 1 person

  37. very beautiful thoughts. I’m really in a situation where I have to decide to be away from work. your article is so inspiring. I’m not going to feel guilty anymore. Going to spend some time for my baby. thanks again

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Great points. This was a refreshing read. I respect you for being non-judgemental and not being a guilt-monger. Both sides take on that role often, and it doesn’t help anyone.

    I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years and I don’t regret it at all. When it comes to using time at home productively, it’s important to set individual goals. Doing chores & taking care of kids, take a lot of time, but it’s important to be creative & grow as an individual too. I used the past four years to work on my creative and spiritual sides.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Hi! Your article really helps a lot. It has just been a week since I resigned as a Bank Officer, and somehow I think “Am I doing the right thing?” But seeing my son grow and witnessing the delicate milestones he’s undergoing, I could say, “there is no other fulfilling job in the world than to be a mother. This is more than any salary could meet”.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. This is so brilliantly written and feeling and thoughts pen down superbly. All the points are so correct specially the point where it’s mentioned that doing both the jobs (working women n mom) is like mind in office n soul n heart at home. The happy face of the child been his I’d her queen is the highest paid job. Really liked your article n can very very well connect to all the five points.

    Liked by 1 person

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